The rise of the machines
Can you turn a normal(ish) woman into a lean, mean, badass running machine in less than six months? Rhalou takes on the challenge...
Tuesday, 7 June, 2011
Our magazine ed Chris often sends us on random running associated excursions, so when she suggested I pop along to The Centre for Health & Human Performance at 76 Harley Street for a running assessment, I thought nothing of it and skipped along to my appointment expecting some lighthearted running chat. Perhaps it's a good thing I was so grossly unprepared, as if I’d known what to expect, I might have run for the hills.I rocked up on Friday morning, and was greeted by a whole team of specialists, from physio to ultra endurance to bio mechanic, each top dog in their respective field. Led by the inimitable professor Greg Whyte, the chap who trained Eddie Izzard for his bonkers multiple marathon challenge, it quickly dawned on me that their intentions were serious. Before I had a chance to run for the aforementioned hills, they rigged me up to lots of complex looking machinery, including a large terrifying face mask, and plonked me on a treadmill, where I was asked to run like a bat out of hell while they all stood round assessing every follicle of my being. Being a staunch anti-treadmill runner (I fell off one in a busy gym once and have avoided them since) the terror of the situation was multiplied by a rational fear. Falling flat on your arse is embarrassing enough, without doing it in front of a team of experts who are busy scrutinising your every move. And don’t even get me started on running with a massive gas mask strapped to your face. As the speed increased and the sweat began to pour down my head, I started to feel incredibly frail and incredibly human. 
The evil blue face sucking alien finally got herTheir Cardio Pulmonary Exercise Testing Lab (CPEX) assesses and evaluates heart/lung health and metabolic function and is usually found only in elite physiology labs. The CPEX gives breath by breath and heartbeat by heartbeat data on your Cardio Pulmonary health, as well as your maximum power output, your Anaerobic Threshold and your VO2 Max. They take this data and use it to create a bespoke training programme that enables you to train at peak efficiency in order to achieve you goals. They also analyse the bio mechanics of an individual with very precise gait analysis using a 4,000 frames per second camera in order to fine tune technique and spot any issues that may be reducing efficiency or might lead to injury.On close inspection, the biggest issue with my running style is apparently my head. I always knew I have a big head, but who knew it was affecting my running! Apparently the average human head weighs about eight pounds. Just by watching and videoing my running style, they could ascertain that I was running at a slight angle bent forward, and this small posture issue was slowing down the whole process considerably. So by learning to stand tall, I can effectively even out the weight distribution and make better use of my energy.I felt like a space woman on a mission to the moon. Fortunately they were all lovely chaps, so when I stopped running for fear of death, they had me do a few more lunges and squats and other tests, before quietly informing me that, if I was going to take this seriously, for the next six months, my ass is theirs. In short, they plan to whip me into shape, and after creating a bespoke training plan, transform me from average woman into running machine. This means running no less than five times a week, along with core strengthening exercises, and as much other fitness as I can force my weary body to do in between holding down a job and running like a woman possessed. Bye bye social life, so long ice cream. If I'm going to live up to the challenge, I’m going to have to start training, and I’m going to have to train hard. Never one to shirk my responsibilities, I grinned like an idiot and agreed, while quietly dying inside. The ING New York City marathon provides the perfect goal to test out my robo body (if anyone would like to join my running crew in NYC, click here!) so I’ll be training like a lunatic over the coming months with the aim of smashing my five-hour PB. The good news is that apparently I have a 'good engine'. The bad news is, my engine ain't performing up to speed, and I have a long way to go. Can an average woman transform into a super fly speedy running robot in only six months? Watch this space… if I ever have time to write again that is. I might need to employ a PA; I'm going to be rather busy running/morphing into robo-woman.
The evil blue face sucking alien finally got herTheir Cardio Pulmonary Exercise Testing Lab (CPEX) assesses and evaluates heart/lung health and metabolic function and is usually found only in elite physiology labs. The CPEX gives breath by breath and heartbeat by heartbeat data on your Cardio Pulmonary health, as well as your maximum power output, your Anaerobic Threshold and your VO2 Max. They take this data and use it to create a bespoke training programme that enables you to train at peak efficiency in order to achieve you goals. They also analyse the bio mechanics of an individual with very precise gait analysis using a 4,000 frames per second camera in order to fine tune technique and spot any issues that may be reducing efficiency or might lead to injury.On close inspection, the biggest issue with my running style is apparently my head. I always knew I have a big head, but who knew it was affecting my running! Apparently the average human head weighs about eight pounds. Just by watching and videoing my running style, they could ascertain that I was running at a slight angle bent forward, and this small posture issue was slowing down the whole process considerably. So by learning to stand tall, I can effectively even out the weight distribution and make better use of my energy.I felt like a space woman on a mission to the moon. Fortunately they were all lovely chaps, so when I stopped running for fear of death, they had me do a few more lunges and squats and other tests, before quietly informing me that, if I was going to take this seriously, for the next six months, my ass is theirs. In short, they plan to whip me into shape, and after creating a bespoke training plan, transform me from average woman into running machine. This means running no less than five times a week, along with core strengthening exercises, and as much other fitness as I can force my weary body to do in between holding down a job and running like a woman possessed. Bye bye social life, so long ice cream. If I'm going to live up to the challenge, I’m going to have to start training, and I’m going to have to train hard. Never one to shirk my responsibilities, I grinned like an idiot and agreed, while quietly dying inside. The ING New York City marathon provides the perfect goal to test out my robo body (if anyone would like to join my running crew in NYC, click here!) so I’ll be training like a lunatic over the coming months with the aim of smashing my five-hour PB. The good news is that apparently I have a 'good engine'. The bad news is, my engine ain't performing up to speed, and I have a long way to go. Can an average woman transform into a super fly speedy running robot in only six months? Watch this space… if I ever have time to write again that is. I might need to employ a PA; I'm going to be rather busy running/morphing into robo-woman.